


Memoirs of an Earl

by the_deductive_butler



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M, SebaCiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:44:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_deductive_butler/pseuds/the_deductive_butler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place at the end of Chapter 65 - His Butler, Fighting Valiantly.<br/>It does contain some spoilers, so beware. o_o<br/>- From Ciel's POV ; My own take on the end to the Voyage arc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memoirs of an Earl

Cold, dark sea.

It's arms wrapping around me.

The chill froze my bones.

I shivered and shook violently, my teeth clattering to the point of pain. 

Pins and needles pierced my skin.

Numbness... cumbersome limbs. Blue lips and nails. His jacket heavy around my shoulders.

I wanted to sleep.

My eyes grew too heavy... I was so tired...

I wanted to escape.

 

A voice... the screaming of my title, begging me not to fall asleep.

It brought me back from the edge.

I could see my butler hanging from the edge of the rescue boat, his body half-submerged in the freezing water, his face bruised and bloody, ice particles clinging to his har.

His eyes...

He must have felt the cold, despite being a creature from Hell.

How much was it hurting him?

 

Bubbling around the boat...

the undead rising to the surface.

Sebastian gasped as a corpse burst from underneath, grabbing his leg, the nails digging into flesh.

He kicked its face, sending it back under.

_Young Master..._

_  
_His voice once more.

It penetrated and brought reality forth.

I screamed at him to get into the boat, offering my hand.

 

He heaved his body onto the wood, the boat rocking and rolling.

As he stood to balance, water dripped onto the floor, mixing with a goopy blood.

His gloved hand clutched at his chest as the substance seeped from inbetween his fingers.

Dark red... it clung to his white gloves like a sickness.

Labored breathing, heaving chest and shoulders...

He picked up an oar lying at the bottom of the boat.

The undead were still coming.

We would not die right now. I would not die later.

 

_You can do it, can't you Sebastian?_

_You do not need to ask your servant; simply command what you will of me.  
_

_I command you Sebastian; Exterminate them!  
_

_Yes, my lord!  
_

_  
_Unswerving loyalty.

I hid my face as I heard Sebastian killing the corpses, decapitating them, his growls of exertion echoing in the freezing air.

Something wet and sticky was hitting my cheek.

Who's blood... ?

 

Then.

Deafening silence.

I slowly looked up, eyes meeting my demon's back.

He was shaking, blood covered his body.

He did it.

He saved me.

He saved everyone.

  
A clanging resounded beside me.

The oar was dropped...

Sebastian fell to his knees.

  
I yelled his name, my heart racing.

My demon, before me on his knees.

It shouldn't have happened.

  
He leaned his back against the side of the boat, his legs sliding out from underneath him.

I looked at the gaping hole in his chest, the blood continuing to leak at a rapid rate, chunks of his flesh hanging from the crevice.

I pressed the coat around me to the wound, trying to stifle the flow.

 

  
Why wasn't he healing??

 

  
 _The blow of the death scythe... it was hard, even for me._  
 _  
_

 

His voice.

It shook and cracked within his pain;

His silent battle for life he could not conquer. 

 

I ordered him to stop talking, to hold on until the other rescue boats came.

 

He couldn't. And deep down in my cold soul, I knew it. 

 

_Pardon me for being so ungraceful... I am unfit to be the butler of the Phantomhive family._

_  
___  
Sebastian knew it.

 

I crawled over to him, grabbing his gloved hand, the blood staining my bare skin. 

After an initial hesitation, his long fingers curled around mine.

I wanted to convey how much I cared about his bastard soul...

How I had come to love the demon I was contracted to.

 

But my lips wouldn't move.

The words froze in my throat, choking me with emotion.

 

Sebastian only smiled at me, despite the immense pain he must have been in.

Did he know?

Did he love me as well?

He brought his other hand up and touched my eye gently where the Faustian mark resided. 

 

Tears overflowed despite my best efforts, making salty lines across my cheeks. 

He brought the hand back to his mouth as a cough racked his body, sending blood onto the palm.

The blood continued to seep from his chest.

 

I stayed close to him on the boat, trying to soothe his pain by talking quietly.

My butler only looked at me with tremendous sadness - Our contract would be broken.

I would watch the person I cared for most, die before my eyes.

 

As the early rays of morning entered the sky, the burning life in Sebastian's eyes began to fade.

The once beautiful and exotic red irises turned to grey.

His body shook with cold and shock from losing so much blood.

I held on tightly to his hand, reassuring him I was there.

 

I would always be there.

 

His body calmed and his hand went limp in my own;

Labored breaths ended, his eyes peering at nothing in the morning sky.

 

I remember sitting over his body, clutching at my own chest as unspeakable anguish ripped through me.

I screamed, tore at my hair... tears soaking his peaceful face.

I rocked back and forth, still holding his cold hand, as the most excrutiating empty feeling emanated from within.

He was gone.

_Sebastian..._ _  
_

The other half of my damned soul, was gone. _  
_

  
In that moment, I wanted to die; to join him in internal darkness.

But I didn't.

I live on with the pain as a reminder to what was lost.

  
Sebastian died for me.

He lived for me.

  
The most inhuman  man, my butler, taught a brat like myself what it means to be human.

I will never forget that cold journey home.

 

_Sebastian...  
_

_Thank you  for everything.  
_

_I hope you are well._

 

 

~END~


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